Top 10 Hen Characters
Who to invite to your hen do can often land a girl in a bit of a pickle. Do you really want your mother-in-law to see you eating penis cake? And is it ever a good idea for your boss to watch you pole dance? Whoever you choose to include in your pre-wedding celebrations, keep in mind this list of hen party culprits who may not necessarily make your night memorable in the right way!
1. The Drunken Liability
We’ve all got one of these friends. She is THE MOST fun person at the party until suddenly she’s downed one to many shots and pukes up on her own shoes, falls over and breaks a bone or tries to get in a bar brawl. She is a liability and looking after her drunk ass will kill your buzz big time.
2. The One Who Just Broke Up
Breaking up is never easy and being around friends is usually recommended, except when it’s at a hen do. A hen do is a time for optimism and positivity, a time to have fun, laugh a lot and celebrate. You do not want to spend your hen do mopping up tears and listening while Jenny goes on and on about how Bob never really loved her anyway, while you could be learning to make cocktails with naked butlers!
3. The Militant Henzilla
This lady is lethal. She probably organised the activities, and sent out a military style itinerary full of SHOUTY CAPITALS months before the actual date. She’s the one bossing everyone around and getting in a flap when things don’t follow the schedule to a T. “No we can’t have one more drink here, we HAVE to get to our Burlesque class.”
4. The Disapproving Relative
Any hen do worth attending is bound to stoop down to some level of debauched depravity. Penis straws will be sucked on, muscular men will get naked, poles will be gyrated against and alcohol infused declarations and confessions will be made. Think about it, how much do you really want your future mother-in-law, actual mother or grooms sister, to be there to witness your drunken mishaps?
5. The Bad Influence
Remember that girl at school who convinced you to smoke behind the bike shed and cheat on your maths test? Well now she is all grown up and wants you to snog the bar man and get the hot group of guys at the next table to come over and sign your bra. This lady will lead you astray with a smile on her face and a glint in her eye. Beware!
6. The Workaholic
While all the rest of you are enjoying drinking champagne in the pink limo, dancing around with feather boas in your hotel room, dressing up in themed costumes and generally bonding, she is in the corner with her iphone glued to her ear, barking orders at some overworked assistant. Try getting her to join in the festivities and she’ll unconvincingly tell you: “I just have to get this one call; it’s the New York office.”
7. The Attention Seeker
You may be the most humble, modest, shy and unassuming bride to be the world has ever known, but still, this is your hen do and so you should be the centre of attention right? Wrong. If you invite this limelight stealing friend, all eyes will be on her, not you.
8. The Pregnant Soon To Be Mother or Tee-Totaller
Nowadays hen parties are all about the booze. You’ll have a champagne breakfast, drinks in the hummer en-route to the activities, competitive hen games such as paintball or go-karting will be followed by booze to celebrate the victorious. Maybe you’ll learn how to make cocktails or taste the local tipple of choice. Do you really want your sober, tee-total or pregnant mate looking disapproving or bored?
9. The One With History With Your Groom-To-Be
She’ll be all fake smiles and disingenuous congratulatory comments, but behind the veneer of forced niceties, this past flame of your intended is out for your blood. She has never forgiven you for being the one with the ring on your finger, so watch your back, this one is dangerous.
10. The Arch Enemies
Not everyone at hen parties will know each other and that’s ok. What is not ok is when two of your best friends who despise each other are both invited and spend the whole hen do bitching at and about each other, stirring up drama, creating unnecessary tension and awkwardness. Don’t let it happen!!