Being asked to make a Best Mans speech at a wedding is one of the greatest honours anyone can bestow upon you. But now that you’ve said yes, it’s time to actually think about what you’re going to say. No one wants to look like a tit standing up on the big day, so here are some do’s and don’ts to point you in the right direction.
Do Start With a Thank You: It’s always a nice touch to draw attention to those who organised the big day. Start your speech by thanking the parents, the staff and the band for making the wedding such a wonderful day. Starting on a serious note will make people really listen to the rest of the speech.
Don’t Swear (too much): We all know that adding profanities can help make a story more dramatic and hard hitting, but don’t forget that Great Aunt Mildred might not take too kindly to your F-ing and blinding. Neither will the parents of any pre-teens, so best to keep the speech as PG as possible.
Do Tell Jokes: There is a lot of pressure to be funny when giving a Best Man speech. It’s expected. People want to laugh, and while the Father of the Bride is supposed to deliver the tear jerkers, it’s your job to get the crowd giggling at your witty one-liners. If you aren’t naturally funny, don’t try too hard just be yourself.
Don’t Get Wasted Before You’re Up: Giving a Best Man speech can be a nerve-wracking honour. Don’t overcompensate for your stage-fright by getting up their hammered, botching the lines and making a fool of yourself. No one wants a life repeat of that infamous night on the stag do in Prague.
Do Mention the Bride: Before you get carried away thinking up tell-all stories about how the bride puked all over her professor at uni or worse, just remember this is probably the biggest day of her life and to ruin it with embarrassing private stories is cruel, cheap humour and will not be well-received.
Don’t Make it All About You: Don’t let the attention and glory of giving the speech go to your head. The people listening to you are here from the bride and groom and care very, very little about what kind of person you were when you met the groom and who you are now. No need to shy away from personal stories that include the newly-weds by keep it focused on the main event.
Do Keep It Age Sensitive: While we all love the odd sex joke every once in a while, the wedding is not the time of the place to A. Rehash the grooms sexual history or make obvious digs at his prowess in the bedroom. Or B. tell that lewd story about the Stripper on the stag do in Ayia Napa. Sex is only ok in a best man speech if you insinuate it so the right ears will find it funny and the younger ears will hear is whistle over their heads in oblivion!
Don’t Talk About Off-Limits Topics: The last thing a bride wants to hear on her special day, is about the time that her Prince Charming met his First Love in high-school or the time he got a bit too excited during the lap dance on the stag do in Bucharest. If there is something that might be off-limits – Don’t mention it.
Do Keep it Short and Sweet: Speeches can be great entertainment and a good chance to have a break from speaking to the strangers on your table, but bear in mind that the attention span will start to dwindle after around 5-7 minutes. Avoid droning on and on, instead keep it short, sweet and punchy.
Don’t Start Blubbing Like a Baby: Ok, ok – so the groom is like a brother to you and your life wouldn’t be the same without him but hold it together man, today is a happy day and no one wants to be witness to your waterworks.
Do End on a Happy Note: Regardless of the general tone you decide upon for your speech and regardless of whether you disregard our advice or not, one last tip is to end on a happy note about the couple in love, raise your glasses and CHEERS.